Thursday’s Question: Adoption Reform?? November 20, 2008
Posted by Jad in Adoption, Family, Legal, Thursday Question.Tags: Adoption, Family, Family Law, Legal, Nebraska Safe Haven Law
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I think most of you know that I was adopted and am soooo thankful that God had his hand in my adoption. Most of you know that because of this, I am a strong advocate of adoption. Most of you also know that as a family law attorney, I’ve helped clients with adoptions and am currently working on a particularly difficult case regarding an adoption.
Having said this, I’ve been thinking a lot about yesterday’s post and the Nebraska Safe Haven Laws and how it is turning into a place where people can quite literally dump their children and turn them into wards of the state. It’s just another example of how decently well intentioned legislation can turn into a problem.
So let us take the logical next step….What happens to all of the children who are dropped off? I would imagine much like any child in the State’s custody, they will be placed in a group home and possibly placed for adoption. But here’s the rub….Adoption can be SOOOOOOO difficult to navigate. With the rediculously cumbersome legal process and dealing with an underfunded and frankly inept State agency; adoption can be a thorn in a child and foster parent’s side. And this is just relating to State adoptions…there’s a MILLION private agencies who are just dying to take as much money as you can doll out.
So…here’s Thursday’s question:
Side issues to think about:
I'm Jad. I'm married to a beautiful wife, live in the beautiful city of Nashville and have a beautiful life. First and foremost, I'm a Christian. Secondarily, I'm an attorney, a musician, and a big 'ol kid. 
Great questions Jad. I’m no expert on this topic.
But here’s what I think. I would like to see adoption become cheaper but not easier. I know several “great” couples right now that are trying to adopt but are really struggling to come up with the finances.
So my thoughts are keep the layers needed to discover “good” parents but let’s find a way to make it cheaper for the “good” parents once their qualified.
I agree with Pete. Even though, I’m someone who isn’t even thinking of being a mom right now, I still feel for these kids and parents that have to go through all of this! I think that if I ever decided to adopt, I would actually want the system to make sure that I’m a “good” parent, because then I know that kids aren’t just going anywhere. But I also don’t want to have to spend so much money that it discourages me from even trying.
What is the average price to adopt a child? In AR I have friends that have adopted in the past two years. I think it rang up a bill of 20K to 30K. That is way too high.
Big Z
Do we need adoption reform?
YES.
Should we make it easier?
Heck no, harder.
Should we make it more affordable?
We need to get the money out COMPLETELY. It leads to pressure and coercion of women to relinquish newborns so that agencies can stay in business.
Should we shorten waiting periods or make surrenders of children easier?
Heck no, it should be harder to surrender and there should be longer revocation periods.
Should we make them more difficult as to prevent what’s happening in Nebraska?
Yes yes yes yes. And I wish people would look at Nebraska and follow it to the logical conclusions…people are outraged that parents are leaving teens in Nebraska–clearly no one thinks that parents who flew from another state to “safe surrender” a teen was actually going to muder their child without Safe Havens. So whyis everyone convinced that newborns left at Safe Havens were in danger of being murdered? There’s no proof–not one tiny sliver–that Safe Havens of any kind actually save children.
How does this all play into a biological parent’s constitutional right to be the parent of a child?
This is why we need longer revocation periods, informed consent when it comes to relinquishing a child.
Should we make the laws uniform from State to State?
Yes yes yes. It’s despicable that some agencies can ship off expectant mothers to give birth in states with zero or short revocation periods in an attempt to make sure she doesn’t have the chance to “change her mind” and decide to parent. Despicable.
Also: you didn’t mention adoptee rights in here at all, but… OPEN RECORDS. We need open records in every state. (And this is one more reason to do away with Safe Havens.)
@Big Z: I’m not sure averages but it gets very expensive. The 20 – 30K figures sounds about avg.
@paragraphein: I think I found the most appropriate person to comment on this topic.
Thanks for your input, sounds like you’ve been quite the advocate for adoption. I can’t say that I agree with you on all fronts but I like your thinking on the issues.
I certainly feel that some agencies can be pretty shady but I also feel like there are several agencies that are doing great things.
Adoptee rights is an interesting topic. As an adoptee myself, I have to say that I’m glad that I didn’t have access to the records as a minor.
Again, thanks for commenting.